This Is Our Heaven
by Selene Antilles
Summary: Lisa deals with House's untimely death. Spoilers for the promo of 4x16 but not the actual episode. CHARACTER DEATH.
1. Tears of Regret

A bright light flashed before her eyes, as though the pearly gates were opening, and then there was nothing

**Tears of Regret**

A bright light flashed before her eyes, as though the pearly gates were opening, and then there was nothing. Sheer and utter blackness enveloped her and she felt nothing.

Cold seeped from the linoleum floors through the thin silk of her shirt but, still, she felt nothing. Sensitively, she opened her eyes to the alternately worried, tearful and panicked faces of those around her. She squinted her blue eyes against the fluorescent bulbs burning down above her and sat up, pressing a hand to her forehead.

"Is it true?" Her question was so quiet, so pained, that, at first, no one heard.

"Is it true?" she asked again, a bit louder, though with no less misery in her voice.

Wilson laid a hand on her shoulder in a way she imagined was supposed to be comforting. "I'm afraid so, Lisa." He slipped into the tone she'd heard him use a thousand times when informing his patients there was nothing more they could do but wait to die.

Only this time, he was already dead.

--

Lisa Cuddy stood in the morgue, where just days before she had nearly lost her job because of him. She'd surrendered, gave in, as she always did. Slowly, she pulled back the bland, white sheet that covered his face. She winced at the bloody lacerations criss-crossing his face, chest and arms.

Everybody always says the only time people like House look at peace, was when they were stretched out in the morgue, their eyes shut for the final time. Everbody lies. His face was far from relaxed. He looked anxious and troubled, as though he had known what was happening as he died. As he had once said, there was no dignity in dying.

She reached out a hand to his neck, her fingers finding the scar there. She remembered how it had felt when she'd thought she'd lost him. House never knew, or at least she never told him, why, beyond the obvious, she had been so reluctant to give him back his bloodstained carpet.

Everytime she caught sight of that stain, the entire day came flooding back. Her heart jumped into her throat and the image of him languishing in a hospital bed flashed painfully before her eyes. She had locked herself in her office and sobbed. Tears of sorrow, tears of apology, tears of loss.

That pain was nothing to the knife twisting in her heart now. Her fresh tears of regret ran down his cheeks as she pressed a final kiss to his cold, unresponsive lips and drew the sheet back over his face.

"Is this really goodbye, Greg?" she whispered with false hope.


	2. Other Places for Me

The soft knock on her office door sent painful memories shooting through her mind

Disclaimer: I own nada.

**Other Places For Me**

The soft knock on her office door sent painful memories shooting through her mind. Memories of something so different, someone so different, she had to fight off the familiar tears. She motioned Wilson into her office and into a chair.

"My assistant said you wanted to see me," Wilson announced, if only to fill the din of their silence.

Lisa nodded, tucking a file into her cabinet and slamming it with a satisfying bang. "I have something to tell you and I wanted you to hear it from me first." The ominous tone had Wilson leaning forward in his seat, cautious caring in his eyes.

She let out a heavy sigh, glancing away, unable to bear his worried gaze. "I'm resigning," she murmured quickly, afraid of his response.

"Oh, Cuddy," he sat back in his chair, "Why?"

"I just can't take it anymore, Wilson. Everywhere I look, everything I touch, I think of him. I need some new scenery. New people." She busied her hands with peeling nailpolish, a subtle reminder of her negligence of herself.

"Lisa, it's only been six months. You've barely had time to grieve. Of course you're hurting! But that's no reason to resign, leave Princeton. You love this place." Wilson gestured with one hand, straightening his tie with the other.

Lisa shook her head. "Don't try to talk me out of this, Wilson. I'm staying with my sister in Maine for a while. I really only called you here today to offer you the position." For the first time she glanced up to meet his dark brown eyes.

Wilson gaped for a moment, putting together the pieces in his head. "The position? Dean of Medicine?"

"Well, I can't actually _give_ you the position, obviously, but I can put a good word in to the board for you if you'd like. I'm giving my notice at the meeting tomorrow though, so it doesn't give you much time," Lisa blurted out in a rush, anxiously filling the room with excess words.

Wilson pushed himself up, abruptly heading for the door. He paused with his hand on the knob. "I'll talk to you after lunch."

--

Wilson munched mindlessly on a pickle, his chips lying half-eaten beside the lunch tray. He'd found lately that he couldn't eat more than half a bag. He'd found a lot of inane things like that lately. He jumped as a hand with a pen appeared next to him, scribbling something on his napkin. The pen dropped beside his arm and Cameron spun around to sit across from him.

"WWHD?" Wilson read aloud before glancing up at the brunette ER doctor, confusion and mustard on his face. Realization dawned and he answered his own question, "What Would House Do. How did you find out so fast?"

"Cuddy's assistant told me. Come on. What would he do?" she explained before needling him again.

Wilson shrugged. "He'd make some assinine joke about how he was losing his best friend to the aliens and then tell me I'm an idiot for not accepting."

"Exactly." Cameron stole a chip from the abandoned bag as she stood and walked away without another word. Wilson sighed, digging for another pickle.

--

"I accept your offer, Cuddy. No, no, Lisa. No, no, Cuddy. I would be honored to- no. Dr. Cuddy, I-" Wilson practiced in front of Cuddy's empty desk.

"You accept. All right, all right." Lisa dropped her purse beside her desk as she passed a startled Wilson. He sighed.

"I still don't think this is a good idea, Lisa," he admitted.

She held up a hand, effectively ending his crusade of caring. "Yes, this place is my home, but it's time for me to move on. There are other places for me."


End file.
